Families today are experiencing separations that bear some similarities to those of divorced couples. The economy has forced some parents to live long distances from each other when relocation of the entire family is not possible. Two-career families are becoming a norm. Technology makes it possible for two parents to raise children “together” even when one of the parents resides a long distance from the family.
Imagine what it must be like to be Gautam Ghosh who lives in Pennsylvania, where he is an assistant professor at the University of Pennsyvania. His parenting occurs over 16 time zones. He entertains his two-year-old son Emilio at breakfast while his wife is getting ready to go to work in New Zealand, where she is an assistant professor at the University of Otago. It is actually the afternoon before the morning of . . . (you got that, right?) when Ghosh uses Skype to have video chats with their son.
The New York Times reports that according to the 2006 U.S. Census, 3.6 million married Americans reside in different places because their jobs. Chasing the paycheck in this challenging economy may, in fact, see that number increase.
Imagine the adjustments these parents and their children are making. It’s not an Ozzie and Harriet world anymore.
You may read the New York Times article Living Apart for the Paycheck here. (last accessed January 4, 2009)
Other articles about "virtual visitation" on this blog may be found here.
What about millions of Fathers who are MIA because of the family court system? Political figures often discuss the welfare of our children but never discuss the problem regarding our family court system, unfair visitation laws and how those laws effective fathers who want to be part of their children’s lives.
There is a Child Support Enforcement agency in every state but not a Visitation/Parenting Time Enforcement Agency. Why?? This needs to be an issue addressed at the federal level and not decided by the states because the system at the state level is not working. Most states call the time Fathers spend with their children as “Visitation” instead of calling it what it is “Parenting time”. Parenting time is a time to be a parent to your child. Visitation is what the family court force on fathers, as they want fathers to become an occasional visitor. Family courts wants fathers to settle for becoming a 'Disney Dad,' one whose role is nothing more than outings to theme parks once or twice a month. Why can’t the family courts grant time to fathers in a frequency, duration, and type reasonably calculated to promote a strong and loving relationship between the child and the parent? The standard visitation which is four days a month is not enough time to be an effective parent to your child. The family courts very, very rarely enforce visitation. Here, the prejudice is against fathers and their parental rights. The congress refuses to acknowledge the injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of denying the love and companionship between a father and their child.
Fathers are systematically eliminated from their children’s lives. Father’s parental rights are systematically terminated by family court judges who have a deep seated gender bias against fathers. Termination of parental rights is both total and irrevocable. Termination of parental rights is the family law equivalent of the death penalty in a criminal case. The primary casualties in our Domestic Relations courts are our children.
Courts are supposed to approach cases of child custody, support payments, and visitation rights in a gender-neutral posture. It sounds fair, and it is fair. But it is a myth. Judges are not enforcing these gender laws fairly, and few seem to care. Unless you have been forcefully removed from the everyday upbringing of your child by the Court, you can not fathom the emotional distress. To discriminate against fathers because of their gender in this day and age is no different than telling a person to go to the back of the bus because of their skin color.
Posted by: Corey Wilson | 01/05/2009 at 08:03 PM