A parent recently emailed me with this question: " Have you had any experience with children who are 14 and no longer wish to stay with the non-custodial parent? What rights does the minor have in this case?"
This question is asked so often that it appears that there's a common misconception that children have any rights at all to decide when they want to change their parenting time schedule.
Parenting time and custodial arrangements cannot be changed unless the parent filing the motion for a modification can show that since there has been a "change in circumstances" or "good cause" that has arisen since the entry of the most recent custody and parenting time order that makes a modification best for the child. The intent of the Legislature is to make it difficult to change the prior order to promote stability for the child. So unless a parent can show good cause or a change in circumstances, the Family court does not even have to let the parent have a best interest hearing on his or her motion.
In 2003, the Michigan Court of Appeals finally addressed the meaning of the terms "proper cause" and "change in circumstances."
According to the Court of Appeals in Vodvarka v Grasmeyer, 259 Mich App 499 (2003), to establish "proper cause"
[A] movant must prove by a preponderance of the evidence the existence of an appropriate ground for legal action to be taken by the trial court. The appropriate ground(s) should be relevant to at least one of the twelve statutory best interest factors, and must be of such magnitude to have a significant effect on the child's well-being. Vodvarka, supra at 512
According to the Vodvarka panel, to establish a "change in circumstances"
[A] movant must prove that, since the entry of the last custody order, the conditions surrounding custody of the child, which have or could have a significant effect on the child's well-being, have materially changed.
Not just any change be be enough to get a hearing. The Vodvarka Court ruled:
Again, not just any change will suffice, for over time there will always be some changes in a child's environment, behavior, and well-being. Instead, the evidence must demonstrate something more than the normal life changes (both good and bad) that occur during the life of a child, and there must be at least some evidence that the material changes have had or will almost certainly have an effect on the child. Vodvarka, supra at 513-514
Thus, many Family Courts in Michigan are dismissing motions for a change in custody or parenting time without a hearing. One panel of the Michigan Court of Appeals ruled recently that just the child's preference isn't enough to warrant a change. Schemanski v Skank, Docket No. 261356 [Decided Aug. 11, 2005 ]
I've prepared a comprehensive article on this topic. You may read "Can a Child Ever Choose Which Parent She Wants To Live With" here.
Parentage issues have long been of special interest to Jeanne Hannah. To contact Jeanne Hannah with your questions or to view her Family Law website, click here.
Hi, my name is Chelsie. About 3 years ago when I was 13, my dad asked me and my older sister, who was 15 if we wanted to live with him. He had us sign papers and stuff to send to the judge. Our reasons for moving were "we didnt like our stepdad because we thouhgt he was mean" and my dad had a few others. So a year later the judge decided that me and my 2 sisters were to live with my dad. During th e1st year of living with my dad, me and my sisters started to notice that he drank alot. He would always be in his room, and he would get mad at us for the dumbest reasons, like sleeping in the living room on a weekend. My older sister and my dad started to fight alot and my sister started hanging out with "bad" people. Whenever they would get into a big fight my sister would call my mom and my dad would get more mad at her and yell at her and she would get grounded or something. The next summer my sister deciced that she wanted to live with my mom for the rest of her high school. My dad did agree and said that she was just fine there. She ended up moving but it was hard. I didnt want to move because all of my friends lived at my dads. I now realize that the reasons we chose to live with my dad were not right and it happens in every family. I get along with my stepdad great now..hes pretty much my dad even though i dont live with him. After my sister left, for the past 2 years me and my dad get into fights all the time and he's said some hurtful things sometimes and he drinks more now but he denys it. My little sister and I want to move to my moms but my dad says that the judge said that there wasnt enough information for my little sister to move here because she wrote the judge a letter. Me and my sister try to call my dad and talk to him about moving but he just hangs up on us. He says that our best interest is to stay there. But I dont see how it is our best interset to stay there when all we do is fight and he drinks all the time and he cant give us the stuff that we need..he makes my mom by us clothes all the time and stuff. I just want him to let me and my sister live with my mom because i know that i would be happier here even though all of my friends live at my dads. But my family life is way better here and we get along alot better. When my little sister wanted to move i wasnt sure so i told my dad i didnt want to and he said that i can choose where i want to live. Now that ive realized everything and want to move he says that it isnt my choice? I just needed some advice on this becuz it is really stressing me out. What do u think?
Posted by: chelsie reese | 06/21/2006 at 06:47 PM
ok i have a mom who is sos strict and i just wanted to know if i could go to court to live with my father but he has been in jail and does not pay child support what can i do?
Posted by: tye | 08/23/2006 at 11:22 AM
Ive been living with my mom for the past 14 years of my life in wich my parents have been divorced, im 16 years old and am sick of california, i want to move to texas with my dad but my mom will fight to say no, im sick of everything i have to put up with. its like shes never wrong and the blame is always on me. i want a fresh start, Its so stressful. I have to step up so much, just like my older brother did. We had to grow up faster than most teenagers do, having to do things normal kids dont do, im sick of being the reliable to her. no matter what my plans are if im needed than everything gets dropped for her, i sleep in the living room and live with my mom, grandmother, younger sister, and younger brother. I love my family to death but i want to live with my dad, where i have a door to close behind me, a room to have my own privacy, and a fresh start.
If anybody can help me i would be extremely greatful.
Posted by: Adam | 08/18/2007 at 09:12 PM
My name is Adam and i live in California with my mother, im 16 years old and have no desire to stay in california, I want to move to Texas with my dad ut my mom says that she wont let me. I have to pretty much take charge of everything when she is working. Im sick of being reliable to her and having to drop whatever im doing to do what she asks. Its like i have no time to myself. I sleep in the living room..... Im 16 and i have absolutley no privacy. I have no desire to stay in California, all i want to do is move in with my dad in Texas, I want a fresh start, better relationship with my dad, and to make new friends, everytime something bad in my life happens my mom tries to put the blame on my dad, shes always saying he's the one who moved not me, in all honesty my dad moved 3 times in california and they where all to get further from her. All she does is ask for Child Support, Child Support, Child Support, and the child support money he gives her pays the mortgage on her vacation house in pollock pines, im not trying to sound greedy and ungrateful, I thank God everday i wake up for food in my stomach and a roof over my head, but I cant take it anymore, ive seen counselors about it because IM the one with the problem, Im the one full of hate, well thats what she says. I want to start over im tired of being limited in everything I do. I understand that in life there are boundaries but its almost as if I have no freedom. I get to hang out with friends but when its convenient for her. I love my family to death and would do anything for them but sometimes I need space, but if I tell my mom that she just says get over it and spend time with your siblings. I see them everyday and dont get me wrong I enjoy their company but I need time to myself. all she does is lecture me about all the things ive done wrong and every lecture leads to the same old pitty party story about her life growing up. I need a fresh start I love my mom but I want to live with my dad, im 16 years young and im not trying to ruin my high school years with days full of stress. Please help me if you have any information.
Posted by: Adam | 08/18/2007 at 09:28 PM
I am studying for the MI bar and your comments on child custody and parenting time have helped greatly. Thank you
Posted by: Brenda Sprader | 07/11/2009 at 03:03 PM
Brenda, thank you for using my Blog as a resource. As you have probably noticed, this Blog is written as much for lawyers as it is for parents. Knowledge is power! Good luck on your bar exams. Jeanne
Posted by: Jeanne M Hannah | 07/11/2009 at 03:10 PM