UPDATES IN MICHIGAN FAMILY LAW

Parenting | Today's Challenges & A Little Help from . . .

Michael Moore . . . My email newsletter from Michael Moore, founder of the Traverse City Film Festival, arrived today. I live in Traverse City, Michigan where we are so fortunate to have The State Theater and The Bijou as venues for film, for the Metropolitan Opera streaming live from the Met, and the Saturday Children's Matinee. Twenty-five cents! This reminds me a little of being a kid a long time ago . . . and of my parents sending us to the matinee at the little theater down the street. Twelve cents for admission. Michael Moore makes movies affordable for families, especially in the summer and during long school holidays. The theaters offer free admission for service members and their families. It's all good.

Thanks to Michael's email today, I discovered a resource for families I had never seen. It is a website with fantastic content to help parents with enrichment through reading and film, and with healthy family living and parenting. That website is www.commonsensemedia.org. Using the search tools on this website, parents can choose movies that are appropriate for children, books that are appropriate, and healthy life choices. Parents can explore cellular telephone apps and counsel about healthy smart phone use. I wish that resources like this had been available when my kids were kids.

Previews, trailers, ratings & more:

How to banish child sexual groomers

From the website of YouthToday.org, by our regular guest blogger, Professor Daniel Pollack:

Cockroaches, those infamous, hearty and adaptable bugs, can withstand hostile temperatures that few other creatures can endure. Chameleons, known for their ability to change their appearance, can effortlessly merge with their environment. In the desert? Go brown. In the jungle? Go green.

Child sexual groomers are far superior to roaches and chameleons. The challenge to law enforcement and the general public is that groomers hide in plain sight, not by enduring intense scrutiny or by blending in, but by appearing so positively friendly and caring.

The news headlines from just the past few weeks give a vivid picture of the many faces of child sexual groomers:

Internet & Social Media Safety | Protecting Children & DV Victims

Internet safety is on my mind, whether it's protecting children or my clients from online predators, or protecting them from hacking to read emails or see browsing history,whether it's cyber-bullying or invasions of privacy.

Here is a link to all of the Blog posts on Updates in Family Law that deal with Internet issues that may affect divorcing families and vulnerable children. Use them as needed to help yourself, your children, your clients or your friends from falling prey to online victimization. http://tinyurl.com/o4mw2v6

There are many agencies available to help women and their families to escape and/or to prevent family violence. See, for example:

Depression in Young Adults is Linked to Adolescent Bullying

According to a British study just published in the British Medical Journal, adolescent victims of bullying by peers show double the risk for clinical depression by early adulthood. About 2700 adolescents were screened for peer bullying at age 13. Subsequently, at age 18, these subjects were screening for depression to see whether they met the criteria for a diagnosis of depression.

The rate of depression at age 18 was only 5% among the study participants who had reported no peer bullying at age 13. However, it was nearly three times that — almost 15% — among those reporting frequent bullying. After researchers adjusted for previous symptoms of depression and behavioral problems, the association between bullying and depression remained about the same. The study authors conclude that almost a third of early-adult depression could be attributable to prior peer bullying.

Bully & Bullying: Two New Films Explore the Issue

Two new films about bullying--kids tormenting other kids--are being talked about. Let's hope  parents, teachers and especially kids will see these movies. The films are "Hunger Games" and "Bully."

NPR said this week that one of the films, a documentary, may have a hard time getting into theaters. Because the F-word is used six times in the film, the review board refused to rate the film PG-13, instead giving it an "R" rating. This means that none of the kids in the film could even get into a theater where it is being shown! NPR sums up the film as follows:

Parents Break Age Rule to Help Kids Join Facebook

An article in today's Detroit Free Press points out that even though Facebook has a requirement that  users must be at least thirteen, 55% of parents of 12-year-olds report that their child has a Facebook account. The overwhelming majority of those parents, about 82%, knew when their underage child signed up, and 76% helped create the account. Two concerns occur to me.

One, are these parents knowledgeable enough about computer and image security to keep their children safe from predators? See an earlier blog post, “What's a ‘geotag?’ | To protect yourself and your family, you want to know.” Photos posted on a Facebook page, if not stripped of geotags can give online predators access to your family’s home address, putting everyone at risk.

The Bully at School Goes High Tech: Protecting Students in the Internet Age

On Wednesday, November 16, 2011, the American Bar Association will webcast a seminar on cyberbullying for those attempting to protect students at school. The public is welcome to register for this program. The program will also be available on a CD for those unable to attend.

Titled "The Bully at School Goes High Tech: Protecting Students in the Internet Age," this webcast will explore how changes in technology have created new ways for students to bully one another and new legal challenges for schools and society. The program will

Cyberbullying, Social Media | Impact on Children and Families

Cyberbullying is a major problem in many communities today. As earlier noted on this Blog, bullying can lead to depression and sometimes suicide in teens. Parents are advised by the American Academy of Pediatrics to monitor their children's online behavior. The AAP recommends that parents take a central role in their children's online activities. A recent report published in Pediatrics cites a survey finding that a fifth of teens visit social media sites more than 10 times a day. That report is available below with many more free resources for parents. The AAP recommends that pediatricians:

Facebook or Fakebook?

In the Cultural Studies section of the New York Times, Katie Roiphe wrote on August 13, 2010 about the cultural phenomenon that is Facebook. Facebook and other social networking websites are changing the way people communicate--not for the better. Roiphe says:

"Somewhere in the gap between status posting and the person in their room at night is life itself. So fiction is the right response, the right commentary, the right point to be making about who we are in these dangerously consuming media, in these easy addictive nano-connections.

"It is not, alas, 'The Sun Also Rises,' but Facebook is the novel we are all writing."

What's a "geotag?" | To protect yourself and your family, you want to know

Am I a privacy freak? Yes, without a doubt. I've abandoned the social networking sites folks had recommended as "good for business." You won't see me on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter. You won't see casual snapshots of my "kids" (two Siamese sisters) that I took with a smartphone on my blogs or websites. Why not? I read an article about geotags and about how cellphones and digital cameras with built-in GPS can reveal the exact location of where the photo was taken. I had a real wake-up call. Families with children posting to social networking sites need the same wake-up call.

Facebook downgrades privacy

The Boston Globe condemns today in its editorial section Facebook's downgrading of privacy. You may read it here.

One-month subscription to kiddy porn site is probable cause for warrant

      In United States v Freschette, the 6th U.S. Court of Appeals reversed a trial court ruling granting a motion to suppress evidence allegedly wrongfully obtained. The defendant claimed there was no probable cause to support the issuance and execution of a warrant upon Freschette's home and computer where kiddy porn was found. The issue in the case on appeal is whether it is probable that someone who pays approximately $80 for a subscription to a web site is likely to use that subscription.

Children | Protecting them online

NPR's techie Omar L. Gallaga, blogging on All Things Tech, writes on June 15, 2009 about how parents can protecting their kids online. The featured tech gadget is one that carefully allocates how much  time kids can spend on the Internet, playing computer games, watching TV. Hmmm What a way to tick off your kids! And how are they going to get their homework done if they cannot go online? See the Time-Scout Monitor (left), a way to limit and keep track of the amount of time kids spend on the computer. Card Access, Inc.

Here are some other ways you can protect your kids if they are online.

Virtual Visitation: A Threat or a Way to Preserve a Parent-Child Relationship Despite Distance?

Recently, while on a long flight to Hawaii, I sat opposite the galley and had the chance to have a long conversation with one of the flight attendants about how he stays in touch with his young children Aiden and Evan, morning and night when he's away from home 10 days a month. I was impressed with how easy it sounds. Virtual visitation has been in the news lately, and with more and more homes having high-speed Internet access, the concept is far more viable.

The first time I contemplated the concept of virtual parenting time was in 1994. At that time, I had a client who lived in the San Francisco Bay area whose child lived with the custodial parent in Northern Michigan. The concept was very, very new at that time. I'd like to be able to report that this idea worked. Certainly, we had a court system willing to consider it. What we did not have was a cooperative custodial parent. The potential for setting up and keeping a computer and camera in working order seemed daunting, if not impossible. My client decided not to fight because any and all of his parenting time occurred with stiff opposition from the mother, cost a lot of money and anguish for my client, and also caused the child anxiety that was transferred as a result of the parents' conflict.            

In today's extraordinarily mobile society, however, I believe that virtual visitation is not only necessary in order to preserve a good parent-child relationship, but is a way for noncustodial parents to remain intimately connected to their children.

This is not to say that this isn't a two-edged sword. A parent who wants to relocate may offer virtual visitation as a means of replacing the regular parenting time of the noncustodial parent. This represents a threat to a parent faced with a relocation motion. On the other hand, a parent who has lost a relocation motion or who has had, for economic reasons, to relocate himself or herself far from the children can use virtual visitation to remain in close touch with his or her children.

Upon arriving home, I Googled "virtual visitation" and found some recent news articles describing parents' experiences. I also asked Guy to share his experiences and to show us some examples of how virtual visitation might work.

The Michigan Legislature is considering a bill for virtual visitation:  See HB4174

To visit Jeanne Hannah's website for more information, click here.

Need help with a post-judgment relocation motion?

More Resources / Comments Re: Internet Safety for Teens

A number of terrific responses were posted by family lawyers who participate on the State Bar of Michigan Family Law Listserv in response to my article about children and Internet safety.  These experienced lawyers each had some good advice about safety measures parents can take. Here's a sampling:

From Jeffrey Zoeller, who practices in East Lansing:

Hello,

Jeanne has identified a great resource here: http://www.wiredsafety.org/internet101/blogs.html (and explore the rest of the site).

Kids today communicate in ways that most of us do not even know (except maybe the techies on the listserv). They send text messages from their cell phones, they instant message on the internet, they webcam their movies, they diary their personal lives on the internet for all to see.

Parents must ask themselves who they will let into their house, into their child’s bedroom, without supervision and without protection from the parents.

Would you let a middle-aged guy you have never met before, who knocked on your door, come into your house and talk privately with your child?

That is exactly what you are doing if you let your child have an internet connected computer outside of your supervision.

Increasing the Safety of Children Using Internet Social Websites

I can’t tell you how many times in this past year my clients have expressed concern about their children’s Internet usage and their frustration with a co- parent’s refusal or inability to monitor the children for safety concerns. Some of these parents are successful in limiting their children’s access to certain sites—as long as the children are using a home computer. Some of the parents monitor their children’s usage with computer programs like Spectorsoft (a keystroke program).

I have lately been forwarding to my clients articles from newspapers or Internet websites that help them to assess the potential dangers to their children and to implement security measures to protect their children. Recently, I discovered a new resource. I’ll be sending it on to my clients who have pre-teen and teen-aged children. I invite you to incorporate this into newsletters or other communications that you may send out to your clients. Or, to make it easier, you can forward them this article on my Blog "Updates in Michigan Family Law," which contains hyperlinks to specific FAQs and tips to increase children’s Internet safety.

Internet privacy and security lawyer, Parry Aftab, explores an issue that is critical to the safety of children as she takes a look at blog sites, profile sites, diary sites and other social-networking sites. The most popular of these sites is MySpace.com . Ms. Aftab provides specific information about how parents can improve the safety of their children in these two FAQ and tip sheets: "Quick tips on social networking safety for parents and teens" and "What you need to know about YouTube and other video networks."  View these and  read more valuable information and common-sense subbestions for parents on Ms. Aftag's Blog at http://www.wiredsafety.org/internet101/blogs.html

To contact Jeanne Hannah or to view her Family Law website, click here.