How Children Succeed. A Resource for Parents in High-Conflict Cases

Family lawyers encounter more high-conflict divorce and custody cases now than ever before. Today I found a resource for parents to help them raise more secure, self-confident children. Feel free to share this with your clients, friends, and others who are parenting children, no matter what the ages of the children.

Paul Tough argues that how young people build character is key to their opportunities to succeed. It isn't how well children do on IQ scores, standardized tests or vocabulary quizzes that determines whether they will make it or not, he says. Tough explores this idea in his new book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character.

Tough begins with attachment theory. He says: "when kids are really young--when they are in their first year or two of life--my sense from the research is that you can't be too loving."

By success, Tough isn't just talking about whether kids get into the right college (or even make it to college). College is another opportunity to develop skills for use in building a successful future, career, marriage, family. He argues that children need character-building experiences as adolescents, as kids, so that when they reach adulthood they have the tools with which to succeed.

Helping teenagers overcome unimaginable challenges--poverty, broken homes, homelessness, sexual abuse--can make a difference for young people between making it and falling through the cracks. Tough writes about some of his experiences in helping young people, such as an intensive mentoring program that has the capacity to changed a troubled teenager's life.

The NPR interview with Paul Tough can be read or heard here.

Read an excerpt of the book here.