After the final hearing confirming his adoption, a 13 year old boy said to Liz Johnson, a social worker and “recruiter” with an adoption coalition: “I’m a real boy now. I’m not a boy in foster care anymore.”
What could be worse than spending most of your childhood in a foster care home . . . or a series of foster care homes? One thing is certain: the older a child is, the less likely that there will be a family out there willing to adopt. Most people seeking to adopt a child have an infant in mind. Older children carry "baggage," whether it's abuse/neglect in their families of origin and/or abuse/neglect within the system that seeks to care for them while attempting to find that perfect forever family.
Imagine . . . just imagine being 13 or 14 or 15 years old, having lived in foster care most of your life and feeling unable to invite a friend from school to your home because you are so different from your classmates. Imagine feeling like you are not a "real boy" because you don't have parents and your schoolmates do. Imagine feeling as though your home is but a temporary place. A sense of identity, family and permanency . . . a good self concept . . . these are keys to success that are denied to such children.