UPDATES IN MICHIGAN FAMILY LAW

Going it Alone in "Couples Therapy?"

Now here's a novel thought: Husband and Wife decide to try to save their marriage. They find a marriage counselor. They attend a few sessions. One of them drops out, saying: "This isn't worth it." The other spouse continues marriage counseling in one-on-one sessions. Can this possibly work to help the couple save their marriage?" According to Ellen Bernstein, writing in the Wall Street Journal, yes--one-on-one marriage counseling can work.

Bernstein's expert had a short explanation for why this one-on-one marriage counseling can work:

Reconciliation is not for the faint of heart

Earlier this fall I wrote about a column in the New York Times written by Laura Munson. My blog post  was titled "When your spouse says 'I don't love you anymore.' Advice for clients." Munson wrote about sticking it out and seeing it through the "rough patch" with her spouse. 

In emails responding to this post (that I now wish I'd archived), some people expressed the thought that Laura Munson was just "wimping it out" and not sticking up for herself. Some others, like me, thought that Laura's words were empowering to women.

When your spouse says "I don't love you anymore." Advice for clients

Laura A. Munson’s article “Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear“ in the Modern Love section of the New York Times on August 2nd just blew me away. I sent it to several clients—clients who really don’t want to be divorced, clients who love their spouses and are devastated at being told “Let’s call it quits. I don’t love you anymore,” or “I’ve really never loved you, I want out.” I write about it here because you, too, might decide to send a link to this article to some of your clients or you may be one of my lay readers who can really use this advice.

    Here’s what Munson says about her marriage and about how she handled the threat to her marriage: 

Mediation | Costs, controlling costs

Family lawyers on the State Bar of Michigan Family Law Listserv (a discussion group) have been discussing mediation this past week. Some lawyers think it's unfair to be billed by a mediator when a mediation is cancelled or rescheduled. Others think it's not fair to be billed for "administrative tasks." I admit that I objected when a GAL agreed upon by the parties billed $150/hour for sending a form letter to the parties. I'd feel the same way if I were billed $150/hour for the sending of a mediator's notice of mediation.

James J. Harrington III of Novi, www.jjharringtonlaw.com, an outstanding Michigan family lawyer, had some valuable thoughts that he agreed to let me share with you. I concur with his analysis.