UPDATES IN MICHIGAN FAMILY LAW

Constitutionality of Prohibiting Procreation

Yesterday's post about a Wisconsin court's decision to prohibit a man from procreating as a condition of probation in a felony non-support case and a comment from Carrie E. Huff, of Mallory, Cunningham, Lapka, Scott & Selin, PLLC in Lansing, Michigan, that the probation requirement of not procreating sounded unconstitutional to her inspires this post. The answer is: In Michigan, such a prohibition is unconstitutional. In Wisconsin (and who knows where else), it is not. The issues of course are fundamental rights of privacy, due process, and equal protection of law.

A 1925 Michigan Supreme Court case upheld a Michigan statute that provided that, so long as procedural steps were followed, a Court could issue an order for sterilization of "mentally defective" persons. Smith v. Command, 231 Mich. 409, 204 N.W. 140 (1925) Download Smith_v_Command,_Probate_Judge

It amazes me that it took seventy--70--years for the Michigan Court of Appeals ("COA"), on remand from the supreme court in lieu of granting leave, to reject the holding in Smith.  The supreme court remanded to the COA for reconsideration as on leave granted "to reconsider, without limitation, whether probate judges possess the power to authorize a guardian to consent to the sterilization of a developmentally disabled citizen."  In re Wirsing (On remand), 214 Mich.App. 131 (1995)

Advocate for Michigan Public Schools | Oppose Proposed Legislation

Dear Michigan Parent | Public School Advocate:

Right now, your legislator is considering a plan that creates a single, statewide school district that is accountable to a board, not elected by the people, but instead appointed by the Governor.

Not only would this district not be governed by any local elections, it would operate without any oversight from the Michigan Department of Education- - and your tax dollars would be sent to this new super-district without any approval from your elected representatives.

Under this plan, this new school district will be able to open schools anywhere it wants in the state, not just where there are failing schools. The bills even say that your home district must sell some of the buildings your community owns to this new district if it wants to operate a school there.

Children of Divorce | How Can Parents Better Nurture Them to Succeed?

Teachers tell me that Fridays and Mondays are often tough days for kids. Why? Many children have to transition from one parent to the other on Friday. The weekends may be stressful because of differences between the parenting styles of each parent regarding such things as scheduling,  discipline, meals, bedtimes. Children may come back to school on Monday tired, cranky, stressed. The reasons could be one or more of the above--or something else altogether. Research shows that only 64% of children live in households where there are two parents.Trends are changing and the makeup of a family unit is not always the Ozzie & Harriet style family. Download PEW-social-trends-2010-families

Divorce usually has a negative financial effect on families. A huge percentage of single mothers and their children live below the poverty level. There are so many social factors in addition to poverty, however, that affect whether children succeed in life or fail. A parent must be truly committed to raising healthy kids to do the job right.

Paul Tough’s important new book, “How Children Succeed,” recently reviewed on this Blog, is discussed by Nicholas D. Kristof in "Cuddle Your Kid!," as seen in last Saturday's New York Times. Kristof writes:

How Children Succeed. A Resource for Parents in High-Conflict Cases

Family lawyers encounter more high-conflict divorce and custody cases now than ever before. Today I found a resource for parents to help them raise more secure, self-confident children. Feel free to share this with your clients, friends, and others who are parenting children, no matter what the ages of the children.

Paul Tough argues that how young people build character is key to their opportunities to succeed. It isn't how well children do on IQ scores, standardized tests or vocabulary quizzes that determines whether they will make it or not, he says. Tough explores this idea in his new book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character.

Tough begins with attachment theory. He says: "when kids are really young--when they are in their first year or two of life--my sense from the research is that you can't be too loving."

U.S. Teen Birth Rate Trending Lower — Contraception / Abstinence Working?

The U.S. teen birth rate in 2010 (34.3 per 1000 females) was 44% lower than in 1990. according to a new report published by the Centers for Disease Control  and Prevention (CDC), the rate of teenagers becoming mothers is declining rapidly . The average teen birth rate decreased 9 percent from 2009 to 2010, reaching an all time low of 34.3 births per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19.

That's a 44 percent drop from 1991 to 2010. There were less teenage mothers in 2010 than any year since 1946.

The most recent results, when compared with 1995 data, show the following:

• Photo Credit: youthincharge.org

Stop the Bullies | Kiwanis Magazine

From my friend, James P. Ryan, family lawyer from Plymouth, Michigan, comes this heads up about an important articke in the Kiwanis magazine. The notice says:

"You may know the names from news reports. You may even know their individual stories. Each is different; yet each is the same.

•  Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, 11 years old: April  6, 2009
•  Megan Taylor Meier, 13 years old:  October 17, 2006
•  Phoebe Prince, 15 years old: January 14, 2010
•  Tyler Clementi, 18 years old: September 22, 2010

Bully & Bullying: Two New Films Explore the Issue

Two new films about bullying--kids tormenting other kids--are being talked about. Let's hope  parents, teachers and especially kids will see these movies. The films are "Hunger Games" and "Bully."

NPR said this week that one of the films, a documentary, may have a hard time getting into theaters. Because the F-word is used six times in the film, the review board refused to rate the film PG-13, instead giving it an "R" rating. This means that none of the kids in the film could even get into a theater where it is being shown! NPR sums up the film as follows:

Parents Break Age Rule to Help Kids Join Facebook

An article in today's Detroit Free Press points out that even though Facebook has a requirement that  users must be at least thirteen, 55% of parents of 12-year-olds report that their child has a Facebook account. The overwhelming majority of those parents, about 82%, knew when their underage child signed up, and 76% helped create the account. Two concerns occur to me.

One, are these parents knowledgeable enough about computer and image security to keep their children safe from predators? See an earlier blog post, “What's a ‘geotag?’ | To protect yourself and your family, you want to know.” Photos posted on a Facebook page, if not stripped of geotags can give online predators access to your family’s home address, putting everyone at risk.

Co-parenting in a High-conflict Divorce

ZEN-"Harmony" Restore Harmony. Create PEACE in all situations.  Rather than pushing the river, FLOW with it.

 This post is a follow-up to Christmas and High Conflict Divorces | Putting the Children First, published in December 2011. Sheri Keller, Domestic Supervisor of court-sponsored classes for parenting in the family court in Topeka, Kansas wrote to tell me more about the Horizons class she teaches with psychologist Bud Dale for parents going through a high-conflict divorce. Sheri wrote:

"Janey is a remarkable woman.  She returns to class every session to share her strengths and growths since attending our class.  She called me out of the blue about a year after attending our program and said she thought she was at a point that she would like to come back to class and share her experience with others.  While attending our class she has also in college at Washburn University.  She wrote a paper called 'irreconcilable differences,'  the term used in divorce decrees in 'no-fault' divorces.  She talked about the powerful words and what it meant for her kids and her as she looked to her future.  How can 'differences' be so irreconcilable that they change your course in life.  She got an A and shared the paper with Bud and I.  Right after that she started speaking to the other parents in our class.

How Divorced Parents can Help Children Survive the Holidays

It's time to run that Christmas post again. For those who may be new readers of this Blog, here are suggestions about how to make Christmas better for children. At the end is a link to Donna Ferber's Blog in which she suggests gifts that may help children through the divorce process.

Many children of divorce feel caught in the middle of their parent’s battles during the holiday season. Holidays should be a time for kids to experience the love, joy and magic. Instead, many children are confused, frustrated, sad and angry.

The stress divorce causes children during the holidays: The holiday season may be more difficult than usual for children of divorced or separated families. The excess chaos may cause children to feel anxious. Children may feel caught in the middle if their parents fight about who spends what time where. They may feel resentful when they must leave friends and family to stay with a non-custodial parent.

Divorce, Child Custody & World of Warcraft

A timely discussion among colleagues leads to a new understanding of what World of Warcraft is and why and how it may impact a divorce and child custody case. Attorney Shawn Hunter of Orlando, Florida asked whether the family lawyers in our ABA discussion group had ever been successful in obtaining by subpoena World of Warcraft records. Another lawyer asked why this might be important. I was very interested in the response because I have a child custody case in which obtaining the records will be very important.

Shawn responded:

"Dad says 'I was an attentive, involved parent.  I should have the child most of the time or, at least, 50% to continue in that role as super-dad.

"Mom says 'All you did was play WoW all the time, from the moment you got home until the a.m.  I have been a WoW widow for the last X years. I fed the child, bathed the child, got the child up in the morning, put the child to bed at night, etc.  Why would your care-giving improve now?

"Judge is not wowed by the he said/she said. But WoW records agree with Mom's version of events."

Change for a Dollar | Making a Difference

In these difficult economic times, families are under a tremendous amount of stress, much of it caused by unemployment, necessary relocations, divorce and all of the financial issues that arise in those situations. It's nearly the holiday season. Family lawyers see these issues on a daily basis.

Here's another look at the issues -- sort of a "Gift of the Magi" kind of story. It's very moving. I hope you will find the time to view it.

Controversial anti-bullying legislation | "A picture is worth a thousand words."

You have to see it to believe it. Mike Thompson, long-time talented political cartoonist for the Detroit Free Press has an on-line blog. The cartoon is priceless (as in "A picture is worth a thousand words.")

Thompson says:

"Schoolyard bullies in Michigan can breathe a sigh of relief. Just when it seemed society was beginning to take the issue of school bullying seriously, along comes the Republican-controlled Michigan State Senate, that last week inserted a bizarre exemption into anti-bullying legislation know as Matt’s Law. The exemption would give a green light to verbal bullying, provided it was motivated by 'a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction.' "

And who elected those people? We actually pay them a salary? This gives new meaning to the old joke "Vote early and often."

Thompson's blog and editorial cartoon are here.

The Bully at School Goes High Tech: Protecting Students in the Internet Age

On Wednesday, November 16, 2011, the American Bar Association will webcast a seminar on cyberbullying for those attempting to protect students at school. The public is welcome to register for this program. The program will also be available on a CD for those unable to attend.

Titled "The Bully at School Goes High Tech: Protecting Students in the Internet Age," this webcast will explore how changes in technology have created new ways for students to bully one another and new legal challenges for schools and society. The program will

PAS | Is This a Valid Psychiatric Diagnosis or Not?

Here we go again. I recall the stance taken in a joint conference of the American Bar Association Family Law Section and the American Psychological Association a couple of years ago. The well-stated argument was: There is no such thing as "parental alienation syndrome" (PAS).

Tell that to the American Psychiatric Association, highly interested obtaining inclusion of PAS in the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The DSM IV is to psychiatrists and psychologists what Michigan Family Law, Hon. Marilyn J. Kelly, Judith A. Curtis, and Richard A. Roane eds, ICLE 6th ed 2004 is to family lawyers in Michigan--referred to by the short title of "the Family Law Bible." 

Books for Children about Divorce

Family lawyers recognize that separation and divorce is an experience during which losses must be grieved. Not only do husband and wife grieve their loss of what may have seemed like a fairytale romance when they were younger, but if children are involved, no matter what their age, they, too have losses to grieve. As a former elementary teacher and later as a volunteer for my children's schools running two annual book sales, I became very interested in bibliotherapy--using books to help children see that they are not alone. There are lots of kids in the same boat.

The Barr-Harris Children's Grief Center, In Chicago, Illinois, has compiled a lengthy bibliography for children of all ages that parents may access. The brief descriptions of the books should help parents decide which book might offer his or her child the comfort and/or information that the child needs.

The list of books reviewed by Benjamin Garber, MD And Members of the Staff of the Barr-Harris Children's Grief Center may be accessed here.

Child elopement from foster care and residential settings

Today's guest author is Daniel Pollack, MSSA (MSW), JD, a full professor at Yeshiva  
University's School of Social Work in New York City and Senior Fellow, Office of Foster Care and Adoption, University of Massachusetts Medical School, Worcester, MA

The National Runaway Switchboard reports that between 1.6 and 2.8 million youth run away each year. It also reports that there has been “a significant increase in the number of crisis calls identifying abuse or neglect as a reason for the call, with abuse calls up 33 percent and neglect calls up 54 percent between 2005-2008" (National Runaway Switchboard Crisis Caller Trends, 2009, p. 2).

Why you want to teach your kids to talk to 911

Sometimes there are family emergencies and the only person available to call 911 is a child. Today I saw the most amazing video with a recording of a 911 call between the dispatcher and a 5-year old. "Stay calm, Dad," says little Savannah. You'll not only find this video poignant, but it may convince you to teach to your children or grandchildren how to call 911, or even do a little role-playing so they learn how to handle emergencies.

Birth Order: Shaping children's lives or not?

If you have siblings, you've probably heard it all. "Spoiled baby!" "That *&!@! middle kid." "Oh, you're the eldest--over-achieving, bossy kid." Does birth order make kids into the people they grow up to be? It was great, for example, to be the eldest son in England in the olden days (1540 and forward) because the eldest son inherited the whole ball of wax, unless, of course, you aggravated your father and were disinherited.

NPR featured a story last week on whether birth order shapes children's lives.

Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities NPR Part 1

I subscribe to NPR to get the public radio email blasts about current news stories of significance. This one caught my eye today: "Breakthrough In Sibling Research" by Alex Spiegel.Something in the story caught my eye and is of major importance to parents who are divorced and divorcing. This is the impact on children that divore has. All of a sudden, these children, all born into the same environment, will not experience that same environment after the divorce, particularly if there are major age differences between them.

Spiegel says:

One brave 14-year-old takes on the school board in Howell, Michigan

Oh, what he said. At a school-board meeting last Friday, openly gay 14-year-old high-school student Graham Taylor came to the defense of Jay McDowell, a teacher in Howell, Michigan. McDowell was temporarily suspended without pay earlier this month after telling a student wearing a Confederate flag and a student making anti-gay remarks to get out of his class.  Graham Taylor eloquently thanked the teacher for doing "an amazing thing" in a town home to the KKK, and urged the school board to give McDowell his pay and reverse the disciplinary actions. The inspiring video has made its way around the Internet. I am awed by the poise, the confidence and the activism of this young man.

 

Race to Nowhere

Today's guest blogger is Carolyn Elefant, a lawyer practicing in Washington, DC and environs.  Carolyn  writes:

If you have kids, particularly in public high school, I recommend that you see the movie, Race to Nowhere if it is ever shown in your area.  My daughter's high school held a screening last night. Essentially, the movie is about how we are forcing our kids to become little professionals - we expect them to perform not only in class, but also in extra-curriculars like sports, theatre and music to the point where no one has the time or inclination to just do this stuff for fun.

The movie showed the toll that this pressure is taking on a variety of fronts.  The movie profiled a number of students, including a young lady who had always done well, but had trouble in a 9th grade math class, the teacher wouldn't help her, so she failed and spiraled into a deep depression, a middle schooler who wanted to end her life if it meant more years of hours of homework a night and a third grader who was getting stomach anxiety and headaches. 

"De-Baptism" -- Families' self-initiated separation from the church

As my readers know, not all of my posts are about substantive family law. Many are about parents' concerns during this age of Internet dangers to children and of other safety or social concerns. Today's post comments on the trend in Europe to separate from the Roman Catholic Church because of the church's posture and approach to the issue of sexual abuse of children over an extended period of decades by priests.

The Global Post online reports from  Belgium that "(f)aced with ever-more harrowing revelations of child sex abuse by Roman Catholic clergymen, Belgians are turning in record numbers to apostasy — formally breaking with their religion through a process of “de-baptism.” [My emphasis]

In the wake of infant death / abandonment, moms need more information

Over the past four months, four dead infants have been found in the Traverse City area alone. One body was found in a dumpster, one in a back yard, one in a basement, one in a backpack. In each case, the mothers have been identified. Criminal investigations have been launched and in some cases, charges are pending.

In May 2010, I wrote about Michigan Safe Delivery of Newborns Act that allows mothers to drop off newborn infants anonymously at hospitals, fire departments, police stations. No questions are asked. In the wake of two recent news reports in the Record Eagle of infants who have been abandoned / who have died, I feel that we are not doing a good enough job in getting information to young mothers who need help. I am compelled to plead with young moms who feel that they have no other options. Choose adoption, not abandonment, infant death and prison time. You'll have a brighter future and so will your child. There are people out there to help you and your baby. No names. No judgmental attitudes. Please see the important information below.

Facebook or Fakebook?

In the Cultural Studies section of the New York Times, Katie Roiphe wrote on August 13, 2010 about the cultural phenomenon that is Facebook. Facebook and other social networking websites are changing the way people communicate--not for the better. Roiphe says:

"Somewhere in the gap between status posting and the person in their room at night is life itself. So fiction is the right response, the right commentary, the right point to be making about who we are in these dangerously consuming media, in these easy addictive nano-connections.

"It is not, alas, 'The Sun Also Rises,' but Facebook is the novel we are all writing."

Local sheriff's deputies attend burial service for abandoned dead newborn

The Traverse City Record Eagle reports today that a group of Grand Traverse sheriff's deputies surrounded a miniature burial site at Oakwood Catholic Diocesan Cemetery in Traverse City early Tuesday to offer their final respects to an infant found dead May 14 in a Gladewood Lane backyard. Among the deputies attending the memorial service were many who had responded to the Garfield Township home after a young resident found the dead body near a fence.

The Safe Delivery of Newborns Act | Help for young moms & infants

Greater publicity about options available to young mothers who want to legally surrender their children for adoption is provided in a community-based effort to avoid infant deaths such as occurred in several cases locally where newborns have been found abandoned and dead in the Traverse City area.

Lorrie Jorgenson, pregnancy counselor at Bethany Christian Services in Traverse City said, "This provides a way out for a desperate person. Fear and desperation would lead to the type of tragedies this community has witnessed."

Cuts in child care subsidies eliminate some parents' ability to work

Young parents are finding impossible to stay employed for lack of child care assistance. The jobless rate hovers near double digits. 6.7 million people have been unemployed for six months or longer, and yet some states are cutting back child care subsidies, making it impossible for some parents who lack help from friend or families to watch the kiddos.

Rethinking children as property

Every now and then I am reminded that our legal system tends to treat children as property. Parents have constitutional rights to be protected and children often have no rights at all in decisions made by judges who are virtual strangers to the family. Nowhere is that so apparent as when a non-marital child is born to a married woman. Protecting the rights of the child to have a relationship with the biological father is difficult indeed--just as difficult as protecting the rights of the biological father to have a relationship with his child.

Women and children | Report about increased health concerns

My readers know that children's health is a major concern with me, as is teen pregnancy and maternal health. The following Comment, published in Journal Watch, raises major concerns about the increasing birth rates, increasing infant mortality, increasing teen pregnancy and increasing incidence of cesarean section for women. If these aren't your issues, now is the time to hit the delete key.

Thanks to Andrea B. Carroll, C.E. Laborde, Jr. Professor of Law, Paul M. Hebert Law Center, LSU writing on the Family Law Prof Blog for the following analysis and commentary concerning surrogacy issues and problems faced by gay and lesbian families seeking to have IVF or surrogacy agreements in order to raise children in their families. Professor Carroll writes:

"Joanna Grossman (Hofstra University School of Law) has recently posted an excellent two-part commentary on whether the Baby M decision should survive, particularly in the context of a recent New Jersey case.  The case involves two gay men who were legally married.  One of the men provided sperm and a donor egg was used, with the resulting embryo implanted into the (non-egg donor) surrogate.  After twin girls were born, the surrogate sought a judgment that the surrogacy agreement she signed relinquishing her rights was a nullity and that she was entitled to parental rights.  The trial court agreed, resting on Baby M.  Grossman argues that Baby M should be revisited in light of distinctions between its facts and those in the most recent case and reproductive advancements since the Baby M decision.

Military families | Educational issues for special needs children

The Washington Post today published an article about initiatives on behalf of military families, led by the Marines and the Army, to address the medical, educational and emotional challenges faced by special-needs families.

According to the Defense Department, about 220,000 active-duty and reserve service members have dependents with special needs, but only 90,000 are enrolled in the military's main program to serve them. For the past two decades, the program has ensured that families are transferred only to bases that have doctors available to address their needs. That has prompted concern among service members that it will interfere with promotions and has caused the program to be underutilized.

The Army initiated a program in 2007 to offer as much as 40 hours a month of free respite care for soldiers who have dependents with disabilities. In 2008, the Marine Corps followed suit. In addition, the Corp created about 60 new positions at installations across the country to help Marines and their families make the transition from place to place more smoothly. A caseworker is assigned to each Marine Corps family to help them understand each state's differing disability regulations and navigate the bewildering process of accessing special education services.

The Washington Post reports that "[t]hree staff attorneys have been designated to help parents with legal issues related to disabilities, including pressing school districts for those services. . . .
"They needed to do something so that service members could deploy without worrying," said Joyce Raezer, executive director of the Alexandria-based National Military Family Association. 

The entire Post news story Military helps families find help for special-needs kids may be read here.

Facebook downgrades privacy

The Boston Globe condemns today in its editorial section Facebook's downgrading of privacy. You may read it here.

Why do young parents need a Will?

In an Associated Press story reported today online at http://sphere.com, the reasons why parents of young children should have a Will become instantly apparent. The AP reports on an horrific vehicular accident that instantly killed the parents, Karl Heiss and Marisa Bauducco-Heiss and left their 10-year-old daughter with a catastrophic brain injury. Alden, the Heiss' 6-year-old son was more fortunate. A proper car safety seat left him injured, but he has recovered fully.

It was only after the accident that the Heiss' good friend, entrusted with their 7-sentence, 2 page holographic Will, brought it to the attention of the two sets of grandparents. The Heisses had decided that Marisa's parents, who reside in a village named Ushuaia, near Terra del Feugo at the tip of South America, should have custody eleven months of the year and that Karl's parents, who live in Malibu, California, should have the children one month of the year.

One-month subscription to kiddy porn site is probable cause for warrant

      In United States v Freschette, the 6th U.S. Court of Appeals reversed a trial court ruling granting a motion to suppress evidence allegedly wrongfully obtained. The defendant claimed there was no probable cause to support the issuance and execution of a warrant upon Freschette's home and computer where kiddy porn was found. The issue in the case on appeal is whether it is probable that someone who pays approximately $80 for a subscription to a web site is likely to use that subscription.

FDA approves Gardasil for Use in Males, approves new HPV Vaccine for females

From the FDA: Gardasil Approved for Use in Males

The quadrivalent human papillomavirus vaccine (Gardasil) has been approved to help prevent genital warts in males aged 9 through 26, the FDA announced on Friday. As in girls and young women, the vaccine will be given as three injections over a 6-month period. This is good news since males are carriers of the HPV virus and can infect their female sexual partners.

From the FDA: New HPV Vaccine Approved for Females

The agency also approved a bivalent HPV vaccine (Cervarix), manufactured by Glaxo Smith Kline, for use in females aged 10 through 25, according to the manufacturer. The vaccine, which protects against HPV types 16 and 18, both causes of almost all cervical cancers, is expected to be available in the U.S. by the end of 2009.

FDA news release on Gardasil (Free)

Manufacturer news release on Cervarix [New drug from Glaxo Smith Kline] (Free)

Physician's First Watch coverage of FDA advisory panel recommendations on both approvals (Free)

Michigan Tells Mom to Stop Baby-Sitting

ABC News today reported that Lisa Snyder, a Michigan mom, received a letter from the state telling her that she is violating a law by babysitting neighborhood children in her home for a brief time each morning before the school bus picks them up.

Regulators who oversee child care, however, don't see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Snyder received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued she'd be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.

Texting & teens | Additional concerns for parents

Sue Shellenbarger writes in the online Wall Street Journal on September 3, 2009

"Some experts lament that all that keyboard jabber is making our kids stupid – unable to read nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, posture and other silent signals of mood and attitude. Unlike phones, text messaging doesn’t even allow transmission of tone of voice or pauses, says Mark Bauerlein, author of a book called The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future."

Texting while driving | Public service announcement

While researching the issue of texting while driving, I saw this public service announcement created in the UK. Believing this is something some parents might find educational (to say the least), I decided to include it in my blog. Imagine my surprise when I was not allowed to upload until I confirmed I am at least 18. Watch it and you'll see why. Then you decide. Is this something your teenagers should see?
As a parent, I'd share this with mine. What about you?

Parents Partnering | Free parent advocacy leadership training

The Parent Leadership in State Government Training Project is sponsoring three two-day training sessions. These will be held in Detroit, Grand Rapids and Gaylord.

Do you have a client or clients who have children with special needs? This is an opportunity for these parents to become trained in advocacy for their children and the other children who are in their communities, schools and day care settings. Here are the details. Please forward this to all parents you think might qualify for and be interested in this training.

Of camps and day care | Kids 14 times more likely to get swine flu

"Mom, can I have a sip of your water?" This is a pretty easy question when you're talking to your young child, right?

 WRONG! Brigid Schulte, Washington Post Staff Writer wrote on Saturday, September 5, 2009 about how insidious the swine flu is, how susceptible to exposure and potential infection our children are . . . and how we have to worry about such simple things as . . . it's a hot day, your child is thirsty and wants a sip of your water. We tend to think of our young children as sharing the same germs we all share at our house.

Blind spots | Parents, children and intimacy issues

Warning to my Blog subscribers. This is an Op-Ed piece. If you haven't time to read it, just hit the delete key.

As I look around, I see so much evidence of people living in parallel lives, sitting in the same room, breathing the same air, sitting at the same table, and having no clue -- sometimes no interest -- about the feelings of those around them. So often, they are not on the same wave length and, in fact, have no sense or feeling of being in an intimate relationship -- whether that be wife/husband or parent/child.

Last night I was appalled to see the people at the next table in a restaurant pull out a small screen, and place it on the table so that their small children (about 2 and 4, I thought) would be "entertained." In fact, those children were out of the loop while the adults talked around them. A tantrum ensued when the entertainment ended as the group was about to leave. So much for parenting.

NPR on "Hooking Up"

NPR explores "Hooking Up," the trend that began with high school and college kids. According to the report, sex without intimacy is becoming popular in 20-somethings as well. All I have to say is: I wish that more of these young folks are using some form of birth control and I hope that they are getting vaccinated against the HPV virus. What is known is that non-marital birthrates are up for young-20s and down for teenagers.

Sex without intimacy - No dating, no relationships from NPR

Significant increase in unwed births reported by CDC

HPV articles on this Blog

Hague Convention Article 13(2) | Objections of child to return

ABC News reports today on the Sean Goldman case. Sean is 9 1/2 years old. A transcript was released by the Brazilian family's lawyers on Wednesday. In the transcript, Sean Goldman tells a psychologist that if he is sent back to New Jersey to be with his father David Goldman he will "break down totally." At several points in the interview he says, "I want to stay here in Brazil." You may read a translated version of the interview here.

How might Sean's objections impact the case?

Initially, I thought that these objections were a last-minute effort to fit this case into Article 13(2) of the Hague Convention. Article 13(2) allows a court to take into consideration the objections of the child to a return to the left-behind parent. Typically, it is the maturity of the child, the reasonableness of the child's objections, and whether the child's objections appear to be coerced or influenced that sway the deciding court.

However, after reading the lengthy translation of the ruling from Judge Pinto in Brazil, I see that a psychological evaluation was ordered by the court and that Sean's step-father has raised every possible defense against return. I urge you to read the lengthy ruling, which shows how hard David Goldman's attorneys have worked to bring Sean home. [Patricia Apy in New Jersey is Goldman's American lawyer and he has another lawyer in Brazil as well.] The ruling also makes clear the perfidy of the Brazilian stepfather and the lengths to which he has gone to prevent the return of this child. Every possible defense has been raised under the Convention. Each exception is stretched to absurd lengths. You can read the June 1st ruling on http://bringseanhome.org.

Children | Protecting them online

NPR's techie Omar L. Gallaga, blogging on All Things Tech, writes on June 15, 2009 about how parents can protecting their kids online. The featured tech gadget is one that carefully allocates how much  time kids can spend on the Internet, playing computer games, watching TV. Hmmm What a way to tick off your kids! And how are they going to get their homework done if they cannot go online? See the Time-Scout Monitor (left), a way to limit and keep track of the amount of time kids spend on the computer. Card Access, Inc.

Here are some other ways you can protect your kids if they are online.

Home Alone | When is it appropriate?

Questions frequently arise during the course of a divorce about about how old one must be in Michigan to be a babysitter, about how old a child must be in Michigan before she can be left alone without a babysitter or daycare, and about whether older siblings can babysit for younger ones. When children may be with the non-custodial parent for a large portion of the summer, specific concerns often arise about whether the child can or should be left home alone.

This isn't an Ozzie and Harriet world anymore. I can remember when, in 1975, I felt perfectly comfortable to browse in the adult section while my three-year-old ran to the children's book area of Horizon Books in Traverse City to look for the book he'd come back clutching saying "This is the Richard Scarry book I need today!" Would I allow a young child to be unsupervised in a downtown store today? Absolutely not. Similar concerns are raised these days about leaving children unsupervised in their home.

Medicaid's role in health care reform | A client's concerns in today's economy

Children in families served by family lawyers often have only Medicaid coverage for health care. The Center for Children and Families released a report on March 21, 2009 about Medicaid's role in health care reform. 

According to the agency, Medicaid is a cornerstone of the U.S. healthcare infrastructure and should be maintained, strengthened and integrated with other components of the health care system as part of health reform. The agency's recommendation was based on a research report issued by the Georgetown University Center for Children and Families ("CCF").

Shaken baby cases on the increase

Massachusetts child abuse specialists say that cases of “shaken baby syndrome” which can cause devastating brain injury to infants have at least doubled in the last few months. They attribute the increase in frequency to economic stress on families in this challenging economy. Shaken baby syndrome is preventable. Near the end of this article, you will find a link to information about prevention. I bring this to your attention because shaken baby syndrome occurs right here in Traverse City and its environs as well.

Abstinence isn't working to reduce teen pregnancy & STDs

Rob Stein, a Washington Post Staff Writer states on December 29, 2008 that “[t]eenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.”

Stein describes the new analysis of data from a large federal survey. This study found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a "virginity pledge." Of serious concern is that the study revealed that the percentage of teens who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for those who had pledged abstinence than for who had no pledged.

HPV | Changing teenagers' futures in a heartbeat

I was recently struck by how easy it is for teen sex to change in a heartbeat the future of young women without a teenager even knowing what has happened until it is too late.

I've written extensively about the dangers of teen sex and the rampant increase in incidence of HPV infection. HPV is the STD that keeps on giving, spreading exponentially when an infected boy or girl has sex with others. There are three strains of HPV that cause virtually all cervical cancers.

Here's a story about how cervical cancer changed one woman's life forever. She is a survivor of cervical cancer caused by HPV. She had it twice. Now she is unable to conceive or carry a child. She and her husband will be fortunate indeed if just one of the remaining cryo-preserved embryos that they saved before her treatment allows them to have children.