OK. I promise that this is the last blog post I will write about the Brock Turner case. There are some developments that need to be acknowledged--kudos that need to be delivered. People are standing up and saying: "Rape is rape. Rape is not OK." Strong women. Bless them everywhere!!
For example, there is Twitter user @alexandraozeri. She helped Brock Turner's father out by editing his (letter) statement for him. Need I mention that she added in quite a few details that Mr. Turner left out--either accidentally or intentionally.
Alexandra re-vised Brock Turner's father's letter. In her (blog post?) medium circulated by Twitter, she says:
Dan A. Turner's letter - fixed by Alexandra Ozeri
As it stands now, Brock’s life has been deeply altered forever by the events (raping an unconscious woman) of Jan 17th and 18th. He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming smile that was there the whole time he was raping a young woman thinking he wouldn’t get caught.
His every waking minute is consumed with not taking responsibility for the rape he committed. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, the fact that he took the girl he raped to trial and blamed it on her, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite.
Brock always enjoyed certain types of food before he raped someone and is a very good cook himself. I was always excited to buy him a big rib eye steak to grill, but it just wasn’t the same after he raped an innocent young woman. I had to make sure to hide some of my favourite pretzels or chips because I knew they wouldn’t be around long after Brock walked in from swim practice, but these cute details don’t have anything to do with the rape he committed. Now he barely consumes any foods and eats only to exist because he screwed his own life and many other lives up by raping someone.
The verdicts have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways, because our son is now a rapist. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve, the one where he gets to rape a beautiful strong human being and then go back to his swim meet.
This is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action i.e. raping someone out of his 20 plus years of life. This isn’t like the three second rule for food, rape still counts no matter how many seconds it lasts. This is rape.
The fact that he now has to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work, rape, and how he will be able to interact with people who don’t want to be raped and organizations who don’t want their employees to be raped.
What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the punishment for Brock, but a longer punishment meant for a rapist. He has no prior criminal history (aside from this rape) and has never been violent to anyone (except for the rape) including his “actions” (and you know what that means – rape) on the night of Jan 17th 2015. Bringing up the fact that this was only his first rape is like bringing up that it’s somebody’s first murder or first terror attack, so it’s still a crime.
Brock can do so many positive things as a contributor to society, but instead he chose to rape someone, and is totally committed to educating other college students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity, which is irrelevant because he should be talking about how he shouldn’t have raped someone.
By having people like Brock educate others on college campuses is how society can begin to break the cycle of drinking and its unfortunate results and get misinformation from a rapist with a light sentence.
Probation is the best answer for Brock in this situation and allows him to give back to society in an unjust and seriously creepy way.
Very respectfully and ignorantly,
Dan A. (father of a rapist) Turner.
Alexandra's writing was brought to me here.
Then there is the Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess blog writer Emmeline May. On her blog, she writes (in part):
[Imagine that you're at a party and you're drunk, she's drunk, and you want to have sex with her. How are you going to figure out whether she is giving you consent--so this is consensual sex and you will not be prosecuted for rape?
[Prefatory material omitted--during which you haven't figured out if she has given consent]
* * *
"If you’re still struggling, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea.
"You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “omg f**k yes, I would f**king LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!*” then you know they want a cup of tea.
If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off-chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.
"If they say “No thank you” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, ok?
"They might say “Yes please, that’s kind of you” and then when the tea arrives they actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying as you’ve gone to the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, now they don’t. Sometimes people change their mind in the time it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s ok for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it even though you went to the trouble of making it.
"If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people don’t want tea and can’t answer the question “do you want tea” because they are unconscious. [Emphasis added]
* * *
"Ok, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea, and they said yes, but in the time it took you to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconscious. You should just put the tea down, make sure the unconscious person is safe, and – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink the tea. They said yes then, sure, but unconscious people don’t want tea.If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it, and then passed out before they’d finished it, don’t keep on pouring it down their throat. Take the tea away and make sure they are safe. Because unconscious people don’t want tea. Trust me on this." [Emphasis added]
But if you can understand how completely ludicrous it is to force people to have tea when they don’t want tea, and you are able to understand when people don’t want tea, then how hard is it to understand when it comes to sex?
Whether it’s tea or sex, Consent Is Everything.
And on that note, I am going to make myself a cup of tea.
*I actually said this word for word to a friend in the early hours of Sunday morning after a warehouse party. Tea. It’s f**king brilliant.
NB You can read the original sexual consent and sex piece by Emmeline May on the Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess Blog.