On the way to the Forum . . . well, while reading the New York Times . . . I wandered "off the page" and found a blog called ACODTimeForSerenity. It's a blog that was written by an adult child of divorce. The author, "Serenity," writes about the difficulties experienced by people whose parents divorced when they were adults. Because I am seeing greater numbers of older adults divorcing these days, I thought I should call this blog to my readers' attention.
"Gray Divorce" is a growing trend, says Ina Jaffe on NPR: "Older Americans' Breakups Are Causing A 'Graying' Divorce Trend." Jaffe, however, focuses an how divorce coaches are helping the divorced seniors with group therapy (or "coaching") combined with meet-ups and "dinner and a movie" groups. So much for the parents . . . but what about the kids? The adult kids? Do they have a hard time with their parents' divorce? You bet. Here's one lesson Serenity writes about that applies no matter what the age of the children those divorcing may leave behind in the wreckage . . . whether they are adults or not.
You saw the image above. You might have wondered why I used what is a strange image for this blog. Take another look:
This image illustrates a post on the ACODTimeForSerenity blog that says in short: "Don't put the children in the middle." That seems rather common sense, right? But how many divorced parents--no matter what the ages of their children--put the kids in the middle? We can guess, right?
There is a lot of common sense expressed in the blog acodtimeforserenity. Here were some of my favorite posts as I browsed a little.
On how and why you shouldn't put the kids in the middle or make them choose loyalties: Of ACODs and Triangles
On how those kids in the middle might extricate themselves: Letting Go
Don't be that parent who is left behind by an adult child who cannot stand being used as "the messenger" anymore.
You can read the blog ACODTimeForSerenity here.
Serenity's book, Help and Hope for Adult Children of Divorce, is available from Amazon for $2.99 in Kindle.