The following is a true story, provided to me to help others understand the importance of ensuring that Michigan law will reflect today's world. Parents today are mobile. Many parents are unmarried. Some parents are married to others. And in the latter, therein lies the rub. Under Michigan law, a biological father may never have access to his child if the child was conceived and/or born during a marriage. This is one father's account, written in a letter to his legislative representative:
Dear Representative Smith: I am the biological father to a beautiful boy, and married to his biological mother, but I don't have, nor under current Michigan law can I even fight for, legal rights to my own son. Instead, Michigan law gives those rights and joint custody to another man who insists on making my son call him daddy, who tells my son that he has 2 daddies, and who constantly introduces chaos and confusion into my family's life.
a) Jane (now my wife) marries John in 2000.
b) Later in 2006 Jane and I have a brief relationship while she is separated from John while he continues to party, abuse drugs, and sleep with other women.
c) In early 2007, Jane becomes pregnant with our son.
d) Later in September 2007 our son is born, but Michigan law considers John his father despite the fact they have been separated since 2006.
e) I obtain legal counsel in 2007 to try to find some way to be able to have rights to my own son.
f) Throughout 2007 and into mid 2008, Jane tries everything she can to salvage her marriage to John, but catches him in lie after lie over other women, drugs, and money. She files for divorce. During this time she allows me, without John's knowledge, to see our son every few weeks for a few hours.
g) In late 2008 Jane and I begin to resume our relationship and in 2009 she moves in with me while her divorce is finalized.
h) We obtain a DNA test that verifies I am our son's father, but I am told it makes no difference to the courts.
i) In January 2010 Jane's divorce is final and Jane and I are married.
j) John is granted joint custody of our son in Jane's divorce, and I am told I have no way to get my rights to my own son from John without him giving them up. He refuses and is quoted as saying "you f**k my wife, I f**k your life."
From January 2010 to today we must abide by a custody agreement, and any decisions regarding our son have to be approved by a man who will never allow our son to have a truly normal family life because he only cares about his hold on our lives.
I understand the intent of the law that grants John legal rights to our son is to protect their marriage. This law tries to protect the family unit and give the child a chance at a normal traditional family life. However that marriage is over, and in our case the law is having the exact opposite, destructive effect as was intended.
Our son is growing more confused every day as he gets older. He is nearly 4 yrs old. Jane and I have a stressed relationship because we have to deal with this man constantly trying to change his custody arrangement and demand more time. He forces our son to call him daddy and treat him as such. He takes every opportunity to taunt me and the fact that he has rights to our son.
Surely there must be some way to amend the law so that in the event of a divorce, especially a divorce in which the child is still very young, a biological father can file suit to retrieve the rights that are his. Or maybe it should say that if a biological father and biological mother marry, that the rights are transferred to the biological parents. I am not a legal expert, I do not know how the details of how such an amendment would work, but there MUST be some way to set this right. I struggle with understanding how our state can have a law that prevents us from fixing mistakes we made in the past and that prevents us from sparing our son from the challenges and turmoil of a divided confusing household. There must be something we can do, and I am told that you are our only hope.
Please let me know what there is that I can do, whether it be a face to face meeting, phone call, anything. I will go to the moon and back to try to give our son a healthy and a traditional family life to ensure he grows up on a solid foundation with the very best opportunity to succeed in his life.
Sincerely, Dad and Mom
Other articles on this Blog discussing paternity / parentage issues will be found here.
Pending legislation that attempts to rectify the issues that Dad and Mom discuss above may be found here:
SB 0256 (2011) HB 4067 Family law; paternity; paternity of a child born to a married woman; allow to be established in a man other than the husband. Amends secs. 1, 4 & 6 of 1956 PA 205 (MCL 722.711 et seq.).
SB 0557 of 2011 Family law; paternity; revocation of paternity act; enact. Creates new act. TIE BAR WITH: SB 0558'11, SB 0559'11, SB 0560'11
SB 0558 of 2011 Family law; paternity; acknowledgment of parentage; allow to be set aside under revocation of paternity act. Amends sec. 7 of 1996 PA 305 (MCL 722.1007) & repeals sec. 11 of 1996 PA 305 (MCL 722.1011). TIE BAR WITH: SB 0557'11
SB 0559 of 2011 Family law; paternity; order of filiation; allow to be set aside under revocation of paternity act. Amends sec. 10 of 1956 PA 205 (MCL 722.720). TIE BAR WITH: SB 0557'11
SB 0560 of 2011 Family law; paternity; determination of parentage for intestate succession; provide for determination under revocation of paternity act. Amends sec. 2114 of 1998 PA 386 (MCL 700.2114). TIE BAR WITH: SB 0557'11
HB 4067 of 2011 Family law; paternity; paternity of a child born to a married woman; allow to be established in a man other than the husband. Amends secs. 1, 4 & 6 of 1956 PA 205 (MCL 722.711 et seq.).
I am SICKENED by this law....This makes NO sense what so ever.... So the woman that runs around and gets pregnant while married to another man, comes out smelling like a rose???? Please...if anyone deserves the punishment its the mother.....The full right should b given to the biological father.... I dont care if she is separated....this only makes my point more valid....now you have a state appointed father...making life miserable for the biological father....not to mention the mental issues this child is getting from the disruption of it all. I am also going thru the same thing....My nephew had a baby with a woman who was so called in the process of getting a divorce.....well. guess what...she wasnt....she has been living with my nephews parents for the past 3 years, and they have taken care of all her, her two children from marriage, and their precious grand baby....only to find out, she has been running around with other men, while living in their home, and using them....now....we have no biological rights at all...she moved to her parents, with her two girls in SC, and now coming back to get the baby from my house. My family, and I have raised, and been in this darling baby's 9 months of life, only to have him ripped away from us, to go to her parents, who never even made an effort to come see him once.... We are worried for the baby....we are just sick with Michigan....this law makes no sense at all....what happens if God forbid something medical is wrong with the child....then is there a need for the biological father???? C'mon....really???? Lets get it together Michigan....Don't let other states think we are this stupid!!!
Posted by: Janice | May 04, 2012 at 01:17 PM