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RESOURCES - SINGLE AND DIVORCING PARENTS

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Father,

My blog article concerns the dearth of available facilities that can handle men, women and children who need refuge from a situation involving domestic violence. Not all articles about DV should be regarded as an appropriate place for the continuing message that fathers are systematically excluded from their children's lives because of false allegations of abuse. Nevertheless, today I offer you this one opportunity to use my blog as your soapbox. I suggest that your remarks be reserved for a time when one of my articles discusses the issue that men as well as women are victims of domestic abuse or when I address the issue of termination of parental rights.

Fathers are systematically eliminated from their children’s lives. Father’s parental rights are systematically terminated by family court judges who have a deep seated gender bias against fathers. Termination of parental rights is both total and irrevocable. Termination of parental rights is the family law equivalent of the death penalty in a criminal case. The primary casualties in our Domestic Relations courts are our children.

Courts are supposed to approach cases of child custody, support payments, and visitation rights in a gender-neutral posture. It sounds fair, and it is fair. But it is a myth. Judges are not enforcing these gender laws fairly, and few seem to care. Unless you have been forcefully removed from the everyday upbringing of your child by the Court, you can not fathom the emotional distress. To discriminate against fathers because of their gender in this day and age is no different than telling a person to go to the back of the bus because of their skin color. With sole or primary custody going to the mother in roughly 90% of cases, claiming custody is not based on gender would be like claiming hiring is not based on race if 90% of a particular race, though equally qualified, was unable to obtain employment.

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