UPDATES IN MICHIGAN FAMILY LAW

The importance of fathers | "My best friend"

I was moved to tears today when I watched Teddy Kennedy, Jr. eulogize his father . . . not once but twice, because I saw it again on MSNBC. Speaking of his own bout of cancer, one that caused his leg to be amputated, Teddy Jr. said:

"At age 12 losing your leg pretty much seems like the end of the world . . . My father taught me that even our most profound losses are survivable. It is what we do with that loss -- our ability to transform it into a positive event -- that is one of my father's greatest lessons. He taught me that nothing is impossible."

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

No matter what you thought about Ted Kennedy, it has been obvious throughout this weekend of remembrance and honor, that Teddy was there for his children and he was there for John Kennedy's children and Bobby Kennedy's children. As a father, he seems bigger than life to me. What better gift for a parent to give his or her children than to impart those huge lessons: "You can do anything that you want to do, be anything that you want to be. Have faith and courage and tenacity . . ." And as Teddy, Jr. quoted his father: "The work goes on; the cause endures; the hope still lives; and the dream shall never die."

Hague Convention | Return refused | Undertakings issue

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit  issued a ruling regarding the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction international child abduction petition. Simcox v. Simcox, 499 F. Supp. 2d 946, 950-52 (N.D. Ohio 2007). The decision discusses the role that undertakings should play in rulings that concern the defense against return of the child or children to the left-behind parent. Undertakings generally are safeguards to protect the children from being exposed to, for example, domestic violence or abuse after return.

Breaking up | Don't shed any tears for me

Hmm let's have a little music with this post . . . Paul Carrack singing "Don't Shed any tears for me" . . . seems like a good accompaniment to this little heart breaker question posed yesterday about how to end a bad relationship. "Cab fare to nowhere is what you are . . . all that I saw in you I now see through . . . "

Here's the question: "How should I advise my client (friend?) to get rid of a free-loader BF (or GF?).

Calculator for deadlines

Nervous about that deadline for submitting your claim of appeal? Not sure if you have to have it filed on Monday or Tuesday? Or are you nervous about when you have to get that motion filed and served on opposing counsel in order to be heard by the Court on the date you've secured from the court administrator?

Take all the guesswork out of it. Use this handy calculator.

Infidelity of partner adversely affects males according to report

Thanks to Ben Stevens, who writes the South Carolina Family Law Blog for the heads up about new research showing that men can be adversely affected in various ways after learning of infidelity on the part of wives or girlfriends. Some of the adverse effects noted are a negative impact on performance at work, with potential for job loss, mental stress and risk of substance abuse, greater risk of exposure to STDs, higher risks of raising another man's child as his own, increased risks for financial consequences such as child support.

Ben cites an article by Ruth Houston, published at Examiner.com. The article is: "How Men Are Affected by Female Infidelity

Going paperless | By Michael Morse

Someone recently sent me a copy of Michael Morse’s article “Going Paperless: A Practical Guide.” Morse is enthusiastic about the potential to become 100% paperless. This article was written after Morse, the sole partner of Michael J. Morse, P.C., a 13-lawyer firm specializing in truck, motorcycle and auto accident cases, returned from the American Bar Association’s annual Tech Show.

I’ve attended the Tech Show also where I, too, attended several paperless office seminars. My goal, as well, is to become a paperless office. I am getting there. I asked Michael to allow me to share his tips with you as part of my toolbox.

Michael writes:

International child abduction | "Habitual residence"

Hofit and Avraham were both born in Israel. As a child, Avraham moved the the United States with his mother and stepfather, but he did not attain citizenship. While in Israel for a vacation, Avraham was conscripted into the Israeli army. While serving, he met Hofit and they subsequently married. One child O,  now four years old, relocated to the US from their native Israel because of Avraham's work. Prior to moving from Israel, the couple terminated their lease and disposed of all of their personal property other than what they took with them to the U.S. They moved in with Avraham's parents in Dayton, Ohio in April 2007.

The couple's relationship deteriorated and Hofit requested to return to Israel. Even though Avraham refused to allow O to go with her, Hofit returned to Israel. Once there, she instituted divorce proceedings. She filed a petition with the Israeli Central Authority for the return of O under the provisions of the Hague Abduction Convention. The parties conceded both were exercising custodial rights over O on the date Hofit flew back to Israel. Hofit contended because she was not permitted to take the child with her, O was "wrongfully retained" by his father in Ohio and should be "returned" to her custody in Israel.

Digital divorce?

Numerous reports have surfaced about digital divorces among Islamic couples. A man has only to say "I divorce you" three times and the couple is divorced. And using digital resources has been the "in" thing to do.

Divorce by Test Message

The Arab News reported in April 2009 that a Shariah court in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia had approved the divorce of a young Saudi woman in her 20s whose husband sent her an SMS text from Iraq saying he had divorced her.

The husband, who is in Iraq to participate in what he described as “jihad,” also telephoned two of his friends who witnessed his marriage and told them that he had divorced his wife. ... The judge approved the divorce and told the woman that she did not have to go through the iddah (the 3-month post-divorce waiting period stipulated by the Shariah) as the marriage was not consummated.

SMS, text message, email divorce

Textually.org reported in February 2009 that even though women do not have access to mobile phones or computers, men use landline phones to pronounce the divorce declaration. "From 15 divorces that one study looked at in 2008, eight were pronounced via SMS, e-mail and over the phone," said Husssain. The phenomenon is taking place despite a decree by the All-India Muslim Women Personal Law Board’s which forbids men from divorcing by electronic means.

For a comprehensive look at digital divorce among Islamics, see textually.org at this thread.

Divorce by Facebook

While not the same thing -- not an Islamic divorce, there was the highly Facebook divorce where Mr. Brady wrote on his Facebook wall that It read: 'Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady.'

Be careful what you wish for: Parenting time pitfalls to avoid

In Brausch v Brausch, 283 Mich App 339; ___ NW2d ___ (2009), decided by the Michigan court of appeals on April 14, 2009, the Court of Appeals reaffirmed that child custody provisions in a judgment of divorce cannot be and will not be governed by contract privileges.

In this case, the parties entered into a judgment of divorce that (1) granted Plaintiff Mother sole legal and sole physical custody, (2) granted the father “reasonable parenting time as agreed to by the parties,” (3) did not restrict Plaintiff Mother from moving more than 100 miles from Defendant Father, and (4) allowed interstates moves without permission from the trial court. Now there’s a recipe for disaster!

Here is the specific wording from the Brausch judgment of divorce. Following that are some specific guidelines for parents who should try to avoid the problems caused by the wording.

Blind spots | Parents, children and intimacy issues

Warning to my Blog subscribers. This is an Op-Ed piece. If you haven't time to read it, just hit the delete key.

As I look around, I see so much evidence of people living in parallel lives, sitting in the same room, breathing the same air, sitting at the same table, and having no clue -- sometimes no interest -- about the feelings of those around them. So often, they are not on the same wave length and, in fact, have no sense or feeling of being in an intimate relationship -- whether that be wife/husband or parent/child.

Last night I was appalled to see the people at the next table in a restaurant pull out a small screen, and place it on the table so that their small children (about 2 and 4, I thought) would be "entertained." In fact, those children were out of the loop while the adults talked around them. A tantrum ensued when the entertainment ended as the group was about to leave. So much for parenting.

Gardasil concerns | Safe or not?

A client sent me a December 2007 article that I somehow missed during my intensive look at the dangers of HPV (which are serious) and the possible value of vaccination with Merck's Gardasil. You may recall that many of my posts questioned Merck's heavy-handed marketing and lobbying strategies. [Those earlier posts may be read here.]

Parents with teenage daughters may wish to review this article prior to decision-making on whether or not to ask their family doctor to vaccinate with Gardasil. Frank Strehl, "Gardasil: pros and cons," Original Internist, December 2007, <http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FDL/is_4_14/ai_n24354801/?tag=content;col1>, <http://tinyurl.com/mn4gm6> (Accessed August 11, 2009)

SmartDraw, the Swiss army knife of document making software

Today's guest blogger is Elizabeth A. Sadowski of Rochester, Michigan. See the footnote for Ms. Sadowski's bio.

Welcome to SmartDraw, the Swiss army knife of document making software. Just like that nifty little knife, this utility program has a host of functions including graphs and charts, time lines, floor plans, maps, calendars, fliers and much more. Through the use of very elastic templates, you can customize your own models, or create your own image from scratch. Charts, graphs, and time lines are especially useful to the Family Law attorney because they let you see past dates and numbers into their underlying meaning. The point is to transform ideas into images; to visually communicate a complex thought into a simple, understandable message.

Domestic Violence | Rage against women

" I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 million women rejected me," wrote George Sodini in a blog that he kept while preparing for the shooting on August 6, 2009 in a Pennsylvania gym. Sodini killed three women, wounded nine others and then killed himself. Really! 30 million? Obviously, Sodini suffered from some kind of a persecution complex or was simply narcissistic and exaggerated his rejection quotient.

Bob Herbert, a regular Op-Ed columnist with the New York Times wrote about Sodini on August 8, 2009, in Women at Risk:

"We’ve seen this tragic ritual so often that it has the feel of a formula. A guy is filled with a seething rage toward women and has easy access to guns. The result: mass slaughter.

"Back in the fall of 2006, a fiend invaded an Amish schoolhouse in rural Pennsylvania, separated the girls from the boys, and then shot 10 of the girls, killing five.

"I wrote, at the time, that there would have been thunderous outrage if someone had separated potential victims by race or religion and then shot, say, only the blacks, or only the whites, or only the Jews. But if you shoot only the girls or only the women — not so much of an uproar."

When your spouse says "I don't love you anymore." Advice for clients

Laura A. Munson’s article “Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear“ in the Modern Love section of the New York Times on August 2nd just blew me away. I sent it to several clients—clients who really don’t want to be divorced, clients who love their spouses and are devastated at being told “Let’s call it quits. I don’t love you anymore,” or “I’ve really never loved you, I want out.” I write about it here because you, too, might decide to send a link to this article to some of your clients or you may be one of my lay readers who can really use this advice.

    Here’s what Munson says about her marriage and about how she handled the threat to her marriage: 

Child abuse | circa 2009

I am not sure how this video found its way to my email, but I find it very disturbing. Here's Melissa Catherine Smith-Means of Gaylesville, Alabama seen on a Verizon store's videotape dragging her toddler through the store by a leash. She was jailed for first degree child abuse. Comments on some sites are equally disturbing since some folks seem to think the mother's behavior is OK -- is not child abuse.

The importance of being earnest | Custody & parenting time de novo reviews

It is very important that lawyers and laypersons filing objections to a referee's decision and recommendation for order and asking for a de novo review follow the procedures dictated by Michigan court rules.

The Michigan court of appeals recently released an unpublished decision affirming in part and reversing in part an award of sanctions under MCR 2.114 for bad faith pleading. The issue arose when the litigant filed a defective objection to a referee’s decision and recommendation for order, requesting a de novo hearing.

Michigan's court rules are very clear about the procedure for the filing of objections and the request of a de novo hearing. The procedure is set out clearly in Michigan Court Rule 3.215.

Note that it is well-established that sanctions are mandatory for violation of MCR 2.114, as the COA reiterates.

This opinion is well worth reviewing for its analysis of the issue so that you can avoid sanctions for filing objections that are non-conforming. The case is Salmon v Smith, Docket number 277752; the lower court is in Kent County. Read it here.

For another lower court opinion awarding sanctions for a lawyer’s failure to properly investigate existence of custody determinations in other courts prior to filing registration and enforcement papers in a court, see this opinion out of the Emmet County Circuit Court, Family Division. There is some good law cited in the opinion as well, and see the footnotes.

Social workers & qualified immunity from § 1983 cases

My guest blogger today is Daniel Pollack, MSSA (MSW), JD. Pollack is a full professor at Yeshiva University's School of Social Work in New York City and Senior Fellow, Office for Foster Care and Adoption, University of Massachusetts Medical School, Worcester, MA. His topic today is:

When qualified immunity protects social workers from 42 U.S.C § 1983 lawsuits

As social work has developed into an increasingly seasoned, mature, and specialized profession, the role of the social worker has also changed.  So too is the expectation that social workers will ensure that they are satisfying all legal responsibilities owed to their clients. Although many public sector social work administrators and practitioners are concerned about liability litigation and qualified immunity, no national studies of appellate cases have been published. This study explores when social workers are and are not successful in asserting qualified immunity when sued in civil court under 42 U.S.C. § 1983.

Read the entire article here:

Clarification of ruling about Sean Goldman's testimony

From the Bringseanhome Facebook site, here is a clarification of the ruling in Brazil on the grandmother's habeas corpus decision in the federal court:

Brazilian journalists are jumping to fast conclusions and are misleading foreign journalists.

What Silvana did was to file a chain of petitions of habeas-corpus challenging Judge Pinto's ruling and claiming, one must assume, that Judge Pinto's ruling unlawfully restrained Sean's liberty. The penultimate habeas corpus in that chain was denied by the President of the STJ (the Superior Court of Justice above TRF-2). Then Silvana filed an Habeas Corpus in the STF (Federal Supreme Court) against the President of the STJ, claiming that his ruling was an unlawful restriction of Sean's liberty. That new Habeas Corpus was now rejected.