According to a report in the Boston Globe on January 14, 2008, domestic
violence shelters throughout Massachusetts are becoming overwhelmed
with people seeking refuge from domestic violence. Domestic violence
advocates and directors of shelters report that they just cannot handle
the huge numbers of applicants. They say that they are forced,
increasingly, to turn victims away. The net result is that some of
those seeking help are forced to return to abusive partners or to live
on the streets.
In Massachusetts, it’s reported that the number of persons refused
shelter has quadrupled between 2003, when 1,374 were turned away to
5,520 in 2005. These numbers come from Jane Doe, Inc., which is a
Massachusetts statewide coalition against sexual assault and domestic
violence that also tracks trends.
To read the article "Shelters can’t help all fleeing abuse", click here. A one-time registration may be required.
Learning how to protect yourself against an abuser is essential, particularly since research shows that the most dangerous time for a woman who is in an abusive relationship is when she is trying to leave her abuser.
You can find a list of State Chapters for the Coalition Against Domestic Violence here.
You’ll find many resources to help you protect yourself against domestic violence and also a list of shelters in Northern Michigan on my website. You’ll also find a link to a website with shelter information throughout Michigan. http://www.traversecityfamilylaw.com/Pages/LawLinks.htm#Domestic_Violence_
Computer and Internet Safety
I usually have a discussion with every new client about Internet safety. An abuser who has access to information you meant to keep confidential can be dangerous and unpredictable.
Computer safety. If you have highly personal files on the home computer, you should be aware that deleting those files will not completely erase them from the hard drive. Your abusive partner could still ask a computer expert to retrieve that data.
Internet safety. If you’ve been using emails to communicate information that you don’t want your abuser to know, see this article about Internet Safety. Then, don’t just assume that your abuser won’t know how to access your email and other Internet information (such as your “History,” which shows every website that you’ve accessed in the recent past. You can read more here about protecting your Internet security.
If your abuser seems to know things that he or she should not know, consider whether you should take the computer to a forensics expert to have the hard drive inspected to see whether there are any “keystroke” programs that have been secretly installed on it, or any computer programs have been installed that will automatically send a “screen shot” of every website you visit to your abuser’s computer. These programs are illegal, but they are readily available. Make sure that one isn’t being used against you.
Creating a Safety Plan
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should know that statistics show that the most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she’s trying to leave the abuser. It’s important that you plan ahead for your safety so that if you are faced with an emergency, you are prepared and you can think with a clear head.
Here are some tips for creating your personal safety plan:
If you are still in the relationship:
- Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
- Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
- Keep change with you at all times.
- Memorize all important numbers.
- Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
- Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
- Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.
If you have left the relationship:
- Change your phone number.
- Screen calls.
- Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
- Change locks, if the batterer has a key.
- Avoid staying alone.
- Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
- If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
- Vary your routine.
- Notify school and work contacts.
- Call a shelter for battered women.
If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.
Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2's), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)
You will find a printer-friendly copy of the above Safety Plan on my website.
If you have questions about your legal rights and you reside in northern Michigan, visit my website at http://www.traversecityfamilylaw.com/
You will find a wealth of information about divorce, property settlements, alimony, child custody, parenting time and child support on the website.
Comments