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RESOURCES - SINGLE AND DIVORCING PARENTS

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There is one way to view a problem. It is sad that DV exists at all, or that violence or neglect occurs against children. lets say...
1. that she falsely reported her other half
2. she wanted to own up...put her cards on the table
3. she finds out what she will lose, and does the "smart" thing
4. he is charged etc....fill in the blanks.
5. Have we destroyed a family, or made a man bitter, vengeful.
6. will the children really benefit
7. when do we call loud arguements abuse.
8. Does this become an automatic, where the woman always does the right thing by hitting 911?
9. What is the penalty for a false police report...how is it proven, and if neither is proven correct, we are now compelled by a movement and political correctness to just toss him in jail?
10. After the sentencing, we now hope he can get a job, for if not, we throw some public at the family and hope for the best.
11. We in this country throw just how much money at prevention and education
12. To bad we have gotten to the point when out goto solution is a 911 call, court, and a family embarrased and broken.
13. granted anyone should get out of truly abusive situations, but false reporters cost everyone, and liars do get theirs..eventually.

As a District Court Prosecutor I deal with a caseload which consists of at least 30% domestic violence cases. We have so many in our city that we are on call over the weekends to approve warrants. Unfortunately 90% of those cases are dismissed because the complainant either refuses to come in or refuses to cooperate with prosecution. I can't tell you how many times I have been told that "he didn't start it, I did", or "the police report is wrong, he didn't hit me" or "I just wanted him gone for that night." And more often than not, those people are before us numerous times and the complainant never follows up with prosecution. In those cases, there is nothing we can do to prosecute the Defendant if there are no independent witnesses. It's very frustrating for us (meaning the prosecutors, victim's advocate and judges who are there to help) when these victims refuse to cooperate. I wish there was more we could do, but every once in a while we have to send a message to these "victims" that if they don't follow through, they will be prosecuted for filing a false report.

Julie,

I agree whole-heartedly with your comments that leaving an abusive situation is the most difficult time for a victim. Research shows, as I am sure you know, that this is the most dangerous time for a victim of DV. The American Bar Association recommends that lawyers and victim's rights advocates work with their clients to help them figure out a safety plan -- the steps that they need to take in order to exit an abusive relationship safely. Domestic violence victims are most at risk for serious injury or death when they try to leave the abuser. The ABA has an excellent resource to help lawyers help clients figure out safety plans for exit. I highly recommend this valuable resource to lawyers, counselors, and victims of domestic violence.

Tips for devising a Safety Plan may be found at www.abanet.org/tips/dvsafety.html

Jeanne Hannah

Leaving an abusive relationship is the most difficult time for a victim. This woman most likely was afraid for her life, or the lives of her children. If judges and police officers could be more sympathetic and understand the complicated workings of abuse victims, we would all be better served. Also, if the punishments were stricter - this woman was probably afraid that the punishment wouldn't be strict and her abuser would get out with just a wrap on the wrist, and then where would she be? Our entire society needs to stop blaming the victims and instead, hold abusers accountable.

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